Jul 6, 2025 6 min read

How Incoming College Students Can Manage their Identity in the College Transition

College is a time to discover new things and explore your identity in different ways, but in this exploration, it can be easy to lose your sense of self.

With a brand new environment, friends, and culture, identity becomes a topic that is constantly considered and questioned.

Although natural shifts in identity are common and encouraged, how can incoming students prevent a total loss of identity when coping with the college transition?

This blog explains:

What identity loss is and how it happens
How to prevent identity loss
What Frankly can do to help

How Does Identity Loss Happen?

Identity loss refers to the sense of confusion, disconnection, or uncertainty students may feel as they move from high school to college. It can involve confusion about personal values, goals, or relationships.

This is often caused by dramatic changes in environment, expectations, social circles, and independence.

In high school, students often have well-established identities built around familiar routines, long-term friendships, and community support systems. These identities may be tied to specific roles that give them a sense of purpose and recognition, but when they enter college, these roles may no longer apply.

Incoming students are surrounded by new people, unfamiliar academic expectations, and a different social environment, and the sudden absence of familiarity can lead to feelings of invisibility, anxiety, or aimlessness.

Identity loss, however, is more than just exploring your identity or taking on new interests/relationships. Identity loss is a disconnection from who you feel you are as a person, and the consequences are serious.

Identity loss can cause depression, lack of motivation, social isolation, and a feeling of emptiness.

With this, it is important that we focus on preventing identity loss so that you can avoid these effects and focus on the excitement and adventure of the college transition.

Preventing Identity Loss

Prevention of identity loss doesn’t just happen on its own. As a student, you must take active steps to stay present and attached to your sense of self.

Here are 3 strategies that can help you protect yourself from identity loss while still embracing the positive change that college brings:

1. Stay connected with familiar support systems

When students leave home for college, they become physically distanced from the relationships they once relied on. This includes family, long-time friends, mentors, teachers, and coaches that were influential in their lives.

These people become a student’s support system by comforting them, affirming their needs, etc. Without regular connection to this preexisting support system, however, it's easy for students to feel that they're "starting over" when they move away for college.

This may cause students to feel isolated and detached from these familiar relationships, which greatly contributes to the uncertainty of identity loss.

Because of this, it’s important that you stay connected to your support systems to eliminate that sense of isolation. Maintaining regular communication can be done through organizing frequent calls or video chats with loved ones or sending text messages to them throughout the day.

You can also stay connected through virtual activities like gaming and online watch parties. With this, connection can be fun and bring support at the same time.

Click the link below to read more about the connection between gaming and a sense of community connection.

Connection with familiar relationships will help you feel comforted and loved even when you’re away from home.

2.Engage in self reflection

The college transition is a period that introduces a constant flow of new information through new social situations, cultural shifts, and ideas taught in class.

With this new information, it’s easy for students to become overwhelmed and lose connection with their identity.

Self reflection is a great tool that can allow you to examine your core values, motivations, and beliefs, so you can have a solid understanding of your sense of self. It will provide you with a clear self-concept that can keep you grounded even when the newness becomes overwhelming.

Becoming aware of your self-concept can also help you track how you change through the college transition so you can assess if your identity is growing/positively shifting or drifting too far from your core values.

Practicing self reflection can look like:

Journaling your thoughts, feelings, and experiences
Considering the things that matter most to you
Discussing past or current experiences with friends or family

3. Set boundaries and learn to say “no”

Although discomfort is needed for personal growth, you also need to know how to discern when an uncomfortable experience should be avoided.

During the college transition, you may face experiences that introduce unhealthy habits or practices. These instances can include pressure to use substances, conform to social norms, feel insecure about body image, etc.

These things can compete with your values and beliefs, and if you allow yourself to go against those values too easily, you might be at risk of becoming disconnected with your sense of self.

Sometimes, students feel the need to say “‘yes” to those around them because they want to please their new peers and seem likable, but this might expose you to situations that just aren't good for you.

Setting boundaries and learning to say “no” to experiences that you know will distance you from your values will help to maintain a strong connection to your identity. This is because setting boundaries will help you focus on your own wants and needs while telling others how you expect them to treat you.

When you set boundaries with those around you, you should be prepared for pushback. Despite this, you should remain firm and consistent when describing your limits. You should also be direct and speak simply so that others have a clear understanding of your needs.

If you keep these strategies in mind when entering the college transition, you will be able to 1.) organize and understand your sense of self, 2.) know how to gauge your connection with your identity as you grow and change, and 3.) defend your identity when others cross your boundaries.

How Frankly can Help

Frankly doesn’t just work with bosses and employees in a corporate setting–we’re also here to support colleges/universities and their students become more attuned to all things health and wellness.

Let’s face it: the college transition is hard, but Frankly is here to make it easier through helping students, professors, and administrative staff understand how to navigate issues like identity loss.

With our personalized approach, Frankly will pair you with your own wellness coach who will value and address your unique needs. They will help you identify the roots of your health and wellness concerns and work with you to find strategies that are personalized to your lifestyle.

To learn more about how Frankly can support your wellness, book a 15-minute demo.

The College Experience and your Authentic Self

Although the college transition is tough, you don’t have to give up what makes you you. Holding onto a strong sense of self can make college much easier, enjoyable, and profitable.

Not only does managing your identity in a healthy way help you stay authentic to yourself, it can also boost your decision-making skills, help you form healthier relationships, allow you to focus on academics, and reduce anxiety.

To read another blog that discusses building focus in more detail, click the link below.